Let's get one thing straight (no pun intended). Being gay does not equal being imperfect. No matter what people tell you. And in the second place, NO ONE IS PERFECT. We're not supposed to be! If we were, there would be no need for the Atonement. We're supposed to do the best we can, but the Lord doesn't ask us to do more than that. We waste so much time on guilt. Sometimes we think we're supposed to..."godly sorrow" and all that. But the Lord wants us to be happy. That's His ultimate goal for us.
I'm going to be candid and straightforward right now. You may take my advice or leave it.
I think sometimes gay Mormons equate “being happy” with “being straight.” And since everyone’s goal is “being happy,” it means that gay Mormons’ goals sometimes become “being straight.” But you might as well say your goal is “having blue eyes.” Nothing you do in this life will change your eyes to blue. The only person who has the power to do that is God. So it’s kind of in His hands and His hands alone. That’s a harsh and direct way of saying that, I know. But who says that having blue eyes will make you happy in the first place!?
Happiness comes from doing meaningful things with your life. From learning new things. From gaining new experiences. From cultivating meaningful relationships. Romance CAN bring happiness, and the Lord wants marriage and family life to be a part of everyone’s happiness. But just because you’re gay, don’t exclude yourself from all other forms of happiness. Sometimes you have to shut your ears to the members of the Church and just start listening to the Lord Himself. Things get confusing otherwise. (Which makes my message of advice kinda hypocritical. But whatever.)
So maybe it’s time to reevaluate your goals. “Being straight” may not be the place to start. “Doing something meaningful with your life” might be easier to work towards. It’s hard in the Church because so often, the message is, “Start your own family and then your life will be filled with happiness.” But happiness comes from “family life.” And you came from a family too. You don’t have to be the patriarch of a family to have happiness in it.
And whenever I hear anyone say, "That's so gay" I always say "I didn't know that thing could have a sexual orientation. Or did you mean that thing is stupid? Because being gay and being stupid are pretty different things." It makes me mad.
And I love you dearly.