January 7, 2011

Nature vs. Nurture, Part Two...

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe in doctrines that the Savior taught. As such, we try to live our lives according to the commandments found in the scriptures. One of the first doctrines we can learn about is in the book of Genesis where it says that God created us male and female. Gender, in other words, is an important - essential, really - part of who we are. Men have different roles than women. We think differently, respond differently, understand things differently… In a lot of ways, men and women are completely different from one another. That is an important concept to understand.

Why? Well, in the world today, gender is disappearing.

“What, we’re all becoming unisex, Michael?”

No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. There are men and women today just as there were thousands of years ago. The difference is that the world doesn’t recognize the distinguishing characteristics that separate the genders. Nowadays, we’re so overly-conscious of equality, we think it means that everyone needs to be doing the exact same thing, regardless who it is. I remember a story when scientists were offering a substantial amount of money to the first man who could become pregnant with a baby. On top of that, I heard a radio announcer once say that the whole reason “sexting,” or pornography at all for that matter, is becoming so prevalent is that the two genders are becoming so similar that the only way to prove gender either way is through exposing their anatomy. While I’m not sure how accurate that is, I think he had a point.


So, is gender important? Absolutely. The fact that we’ve been born male or female is no mistake. We were given our bodies and our gender for specific purposes. I’ve heard people ask, “So basically what you’re saying is, a woman’s value is dependent exclusively upon her role as a wife and/or a mother?” Simply put, no. We each have a significant role to play as we each make our continual progression towards Heavenly Father.

As I have made mention in a previous post, no one is born sinful. We’re born into imperfect bodies and, through our weakness that we’ve been given at birth, we will all eventually sin. But, as babies, we are not yet capable of sin. Combined with the knowledge that we make our own decisions in life, and no one can make us do anything (or, more to the point, we are accountable for our decisions), we know that choosing to rebel against Heavenly Father, in any capacity, is sinful.

Now, there are instances where people commit sins and do not know it. In the Bible, there is a scripture that says that if something isn’t wrong to one person, that person need not give it up. However, if they are aware that it makes other people “stumble,” then it is the duty of that person to refrain from doing that thing in the company of the other person. There is a word that describes this doctrine. It is called ignorance.

Ignorance is basically a lack of knowledge. It means that a person, through no fault of their own, does not know any better. Such a person could live their entire life and not come to a knowledge of the truth. But, once they have heard the truth, they are no longer ignorant. Now, they are accountable. They are now responsible for the truths that they know.

True freedom comes with stipulations, or conditions. In order for a choice to be made, the person must have the ability to choose, they must be given an option to choose from, and they must be able to know the difference between the options. It would make no sense for a person to be sent out into the world to be tested against opposition to see if we will keep the commandments of God, and yet we do not have a concept of right and wrong. And that is exactly why we are here: to be tested. Satan is here to provide us with the opposition (or the option) between good and evil. He can not force us because we have our free will, but he is permitted to tempt us.

Due to the fact that Satan is miserable, he wants us to be that way, too. Satan is the Master of Misery. And since he is so miserable all the time, he wants nothing more than to see us miserable, too. Being the Father of Lies, he tries to undermine everything that our Heavenly Father has taught us. He corrupts doctrine, perverts the thoughts of people, and teaches us to become wicked as he is.

One of the more sinister of Satan’s teachings is the persuading of people to misuse their sacred powers of procreation. Premarital sex, discouraging marriage and children, and creating confusion about the significance of gender are all ways in which Satan attacks the foundations that God has established. I feel that it is necessary to point out that immoral heterosexual behavior is under just as much scrutiny as immoral homosexual behavior. Sin is sin.

We all have challenges and choices in life. The Savior taught us all to love one another. One of the Church leaders was quoted by saying:

“We are asked to be kinder with one another, more gentle and forgiving. We are asked to be slower to anger and more prompt to help. We are asked to extend the hand of friendship and resist the hand of retribution. We are called upon to be true disciples of Christ, to love one another with genuine compassion, for that is the way Christ loved us.”

As such, we may hate the sin, but we love the sinner. Now, not everyone uses their free agency wisely. There will inevitably be people who do not always behave in accordance with what they know. The same, I suppose, can be said about both sides. But, as they say, tolerance is a two-way street. We can not control the actions of other people, but we can certainly control our own.

Because we believe that being tempted is part of the way we are tested in this life, we know that temptation itself is not a sin. With that knowledge, we also know that same gender attraction is not a sin, either. Acting on it, however, is.

In a message given by Jeffrey R. Holland, he spoke about an instance he had with a Latter-day Saint who confessed his temptation with the same gender attraction. In response, Jeffrey R. Holland said, “You serve yourself poorly when you identify yourself primarily by your sexual feelings. That isn’t your only characteristic, so don’t give it disproportionate attention. You are first and foremost a son of God, and He loves you.”

Personally, I draw a lot of comfort from that. To me, it says that my first priority should be keeping myself clean. The more I worry or dwell on my same gender attraction, the more it will play a dominant part of my life and, unfortunately, I think that is what I have been doing for the past couple of years. In all honesty, it is difficult to ignore a problem when we are conscious that it exists. It is like that sore on the roof of our mouth that would probably heal if we would only stop rubbing it with our tongue.

This is not to say that we are all meant to ignore our problems. Paying our problems no heed is just as ridiculous as walking across a busy freeway and trying to ignore oncoming traffic. We’re going to get creamed! First off, don’t walk across the freeway! I shouldn’t be placing myself in positions where I am in potential danger. I should be keeping myself (my physical body as well as my spirit) safe, clean, and pure. When we are doing that, everything else should fall in place. Secondly, and more to the point, the thoughts we keep active in our minds are what shape our actions. If we're focuces on one thing, it will eventually dominate our life.

Have you ever planted anything from the time it is a seed? If you’re anything like me, you try to stay away from the garden as much as possible. I’m not good with growing things, for some reason. It just isn’t my talent. However, I do know how some things work. For instance, if I were to prepare the soil, remove all the weeds, plant the seed the way I am supposed to, and water it accordingly, there is little more that I can do to make that seed grow. Giving unnecessary amounts of my attention to the wellbeing of the seed would be like digging it up every day to see if it has taken root. I may be a horrible gardener, but I know that this isn't how it's done. In other words, I realized that if I would stop worrying about the things I couldn’t control and focus on what was controllable, I would find my life a whole lot better and true happiness easier to obtain.
 

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